guy interactions

[Tundra]

So, there's a really quiet, shy guy. How does a loud, confident, arrogant guy interact with him? they don't know each other all that well, but they're now in close proximity for ages.

[snooze]

"So, what, are you a deaf mute or somethin'?"
"Nuh..."

I get the feeling the louder guy who ask all kinds of questions or say a lot about himself, and the shyer guy would resort to monosyllable replies or short, broken sentances.
Not to reference Dead Poet's Society twice in one day, but like Todd when he's talking to Neil, Charlie, or Mr. Keating. They're all much more verbal than he is, and it's painfuly evident that Todd's not much of a talker. He rarely makes eye contact, and only tends to speak in longer, louder sentances when he's under a lot of duress, like near the end when the administration/his parents wants him to sign Cameron's "confession" or when Keating is finally leaving the school during Nolan's class.
Slight plot spoilers, highlight to read the rest of the sentance.

[theline]

Or if you watch Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle. Harold's more mild-mannered than Kumar, and he's more willing to be polite while still getting a ridiculous ticket than Kumar is.

[AXJ]

I know this won't be tremendously helpful, but it really depends on what kind of quiet guy, and what kind of loud guy it is.

A few scenarios, from my experience. This won't be how it ALWAYS goes down, it's just the way I've seen it most often:

If they're both good guys, this can be a smooth working friendship. The quiet guy is content to let the loud guy soak up all the attention and be the life of the party, and the loud guy is happy not to have the spotlight stolen from him.

If the loud guy is an asshole and the quiet guy is a nice guy, generally speaking the loud guy will pick on the quiet guy, especially once the loud guy discovers that the quiet guy won't fight back. Strangely enough, in my experience, in this sort of situation the quiet guy rarely complains about how he's being treated. But... Depending on how big of an asshole the loud guy is, the abuse will often intensify until the quiet guy eventually snaps and starts either screaming or swinging. If Loud Guy is a dick but not a huge dick, and he doesn't go overboard with the picking... it can go on forever.

If the loud guy is a nice guy and the quiet guy is a dick- well, then it depends on sizes & aggression levels. If the quiet guy is bigger / more physically aggressive, he'll eventually fight the loud guy. If the loud guy is bigger/more aggressive, the quiet guy will complain bitterly to everyone about how he's being treated. Which, in a group of guys, will only decrease his status.

If they're both assholes, eventually there will be a fight, regardless of sizes and aggression levels.

[Tundra]

Well, the thing is, I can think of examples, both fictional and real life, of a few guys who are friends where one is quiet and one is loud, and it seems to work. But this is a first time meeting thing, they haven't known each other forever, and now they have to travel around together. (with 4 other people as well).

[vindemiatrix]

If they're both good guys, as AXJ said, I don't see why they shouldn't get along. There might be a bit of tension if the loud guy gets too persistent with questions or keeps trying to bring the quiet guy out of his shell, but they should get along okay the rest of the time. Unless the quiet guy is the type to get wound up easily, of course, in which case there could be a bit more tension.

If there's four other people, however, there's no reason why the loud guy would even go near the quiet guy, unless as said he's trying to bring him out of his shell. He'd probably choose to associate with livelier people like him, imo.

Of course, I don't know their personalities. What are the two guys like? Give us more detail on temperament and so forth! Don't be afraid to ramble, it will help us help you.

[Tundra]

Well, i've only worked out the quiet one so far. And he's VERY quiet and introverted.

[vindemiatrix]

He might be embarrassed by the loud one's attention then?

It would probably be best to work out personalities before you worked out interactions - you might come across something as you do work out their personalities that will help you figure out how they act towards each other.

[snooze]

Wouldn't the loud one be made uncomfortable by the relative silence, just as much as the quiet one shys away and is embarassed by talking? And the louder one keeps trying to fill the silence with meaningless words, and the quiet one gets more painfully, obviously quiet. I know a lot of people who talk forever, saying meaningless things, because they think a silence would be uncomfortable. Actually, sometimes I tend to talk forever...but that's only because I'm either on a roll for a certain subject and I love to hear myself talk. I can accept and cherish silence where is exists.

[AXJ]

Wouldn't the loud one be made uncomfortable by the relative silence?

In my experience, it usually doesn't work that way with guys. At worst, if the loud guy is the paranoid sort, he may think the quiet guy is being a dick. But for them most part, with guys I've known, loud guys are totally oblivious to the fact that they're the only person who's being loud.

Remember, guys are generally less sensitive to the nuances of social situations. There've been a million times when me and my boys have finished up an evening with the girls, thinking everything went great and we all had a good time, only to find out later that there was some sort of 'veiled hostility' or whatever going on among the girls. And none of the guys noticed at all. And there have been other times when the girls assumed that one of the guys was mad or depressed or something just because he spent the whole night playing video games and ignoring everyone else, and we'd have to explain, "Uh, no, he's good. He just got that game." But you know, he very well could have been pissed off or depressed. We just wouldn't have noticed until he did something really out of character.

[Aimless]

Dammit Tundra, enough of this cookie-cutter nonsense :P

What kinda guys are they? What do they think about themselves? Like, say, the quiet introvert... is he comfortable and confident about his quietness and stuff? Is it just that he doesn't talk but doesn't mind having others go on however they like? Does he take an interest in what others are saying or does he just get irritated?

What about the loud guy? Does he understand quiet people? Has he ever had a quiet friend perhaps? Is he intelligent and insightful?

C'mon man :P

[vindemiatrix]

I ditto Aimless, although I would have been more polite in saying it. *grin* It is hard to answer your question without more information on the guys. I mean, I'm quiet and introverted, but stick me with someone extroverted who makes the effort to talk to me and I'll come right out of my shell, because that's what I'm like. Others might just retreat deeper into theirs. Others might get snappy, or try to make an effort to talk but seem rude and impolite because they're shy).

Develop these dudes then come back. I really want to help with this. *grin*

(And, um, I might seem unqualified on the subject since I do not have a penis (my loss), but trust me here; if you'd asked about girl interactions, THEN I would have been clueless. Girls confuse the hell out of me.)

[Tundra]

Aimless, i'm not trying to be cookie cutter. Don't worry, i'm not going to pick one of these and force it on them. I just have trouble describing my characters without resorting to very simplistic terms. I can have conversations about Doran now you'll be glad to hear! :D Since the other night, he seems 'alive' to me now! I can see him and hear him.

[Aimless]

Good, now you can KILL HIM!!! :o :o :o

=)

I really am glad to hear it :)

Re. this new introvert, what do you mean when you say he's the quiet type? Do you just mean that he doesn't talk much, or that he doesn't communicate much at all?

In my experience, guys tend to use a lot more nonverbal communication when communicating with each other than girls do (girls seem to prefer to verbalise their thoughts fairly explicitly, in general). For example, I often go through prolonged periods of quietness, when I just prefer to listen and be quiet and chill. During those periods, I use words sparsely, but very precisely (and confidently ;)), and communicate with the guys around me primarily through body-language, changes in facial expressions, etc.

They don't even have to be very close friends. There's one guy who's been in my class since the third grade, and, although we've never been close friends in the conventional sense, over the years, we've gotten in tune with other, so much so that we can have entire exchanges, jokes or comments or whatever, through nonverbal signals (eyes, shrugs, expression, lips, wiggling ears... okay not that last one). I bring this up because he is a very extrovert person :P

So, it's really important for you to figure out the nature of the quiet guy's quietness and introversion, as well as the extrovert's experience with quiet, introverted people.

Another thing you might want to keep in mind is, extroverts can often be very private people, who keep most of their serious thoughts and feelings to themselves, while introverts can often be the kind of people who, once they confide in you, do so completely, with sincerity and without any shame :P

So, get to work!

-- P

[Tundra]

^ this is the same introvert. This is Doran and Audric. Rather than Audric and Locke (new name for him). Doran's not the quiet type just because he doesn't talk much. He's quiet because he's very shy. He's nervous around people.